is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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