Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
