I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
