I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
