i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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