On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
