In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
