you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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