Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
