1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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