just come out here and I will go home with you...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
