Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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