we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
