i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
