And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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