It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
