Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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