Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize