**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
