As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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