Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
