pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
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