I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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