If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
