Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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