ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
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