Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
