My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
