If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
