Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
