i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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