Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
