the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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