i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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