he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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