i permit you to call me
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
