I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
that is very illegal...i love you.
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