Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize