Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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