So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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