I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
