Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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