Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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