I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
