Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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