he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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