Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
