i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
