Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
