I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
