I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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