Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize