I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
