Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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