He is an equal opportunity slut.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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