I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
