My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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