she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Houston, we have a squirter
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
