Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
