There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
