Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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