Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
