Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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