Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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