Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
