Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
