mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
