I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
