I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize